Yesterday I was putting some things away in the linen closet and came across the purse "harness" I bought for Mayah....gosh, it must have been a year ago. It made me start thinking about all the times I said "I never" regarding parenting decisions. Talk about laughing at yourself.
First off, I can honestly say I hate those harnesses. I hated buying it. I rarely used it. However, after almost losing Mayah at the mall (she walked right by me) I knew I had to do something drastic. Mayah is my daredevil and strong willed child...the combo to a pregnant woman or a mother with three children (one being an infant) was too much. She liked her little purse and I liked setting boundaries with her. It did not last long, but it worked.
It's interesting how "pre-parents" we say all these things, make all these judgments and then in most cases are standing face to face with those decisions and doing exactly what we said we would not. I said I would never let a child sleep in our bed. Well, due to a cyst after having Mayah I could not sit so I was laying down nursing. She was in our bed all the time. And Miss Leah was in our bed from the beginning. It was the only way we all slept. She is not there now; it did not ruin my marriage.
Never going to drive a minivan.....if we have 4 kids it is reality. I am ok with it. Never going to give my kids pacifiers. I almost think Chiara liked making me eat my words on this one! Never going to spank....I struggled with this one. We have found a way that works and still shows love to our girls. Never going to count "1, 2,3" for a child to respond...yeah, then we had Mayah and the technique worked for her. I am sure there are others, but only half a cup of coffee is in...oh yeah, never going to drink coffee while pregnant or nursing.....HAHAHA! Then I had more than one!
None of these changes were bending on family rules and they are far from salvation issues. They are ideals and expectations I set for myself. I am much better at how I use the word "never". You will rarely hear me say it when it comes to parenting styles and such. I hope this gives my own girls some freedom when they become mothers.