I need to miss you....

I used to hate being away from the girls. I just miss them. It is not so much a worry as a desire to be with them. Just not wanting to miss anything...however, as they get older and we spend more and more 24/7 weeks together I find it refreshing to miss them a bit. Even if it just for one night I find that gives me an amazing feeling of being refreshed...ready to tackle the arguments, yelling, cleaning up after, etc. They seem to gain so much from it too. Not only do Nanny & Grampy get quality time and sow some seed into their lives, they get a chance to miss us.

So, I raise my glass to sleepovers...even if it is just for a few hours it makes all the difference to ALL of us!

1...2...3....4!

Leah is finally taking some steps on her own. I am always amazed watching this process. They are so unsure and a bit unsteady, but they try anyway! Talk about a good metaphor for life!!!
David and I have only had really early walkers in this house so Leah just starting at 14 months old is out of the norm. She is perfectly healthy and we know it is more average to walk at her age rather than when her big sisters did. I just like getting past the dirty knees and top of socks phase. I would also feel better if she walked outside rather than crawling around.
She is still crawling more than anything, but I think it is because she has perfected the speed-crawl. We joke that she will talk in sentences before she walks-she is quite the Chaty-Cathy!
What is really cool about all of this is hearing how excited both Chiara and Mayah get when Leah accomplishes something. It really warms my heart and makes me glad we did have the 3 of them so close in age. I wonder how the relationships will change as they age-who will find more in common with the other? What a wonderful thing to be able to watch.

Stopping to Smell the Roses...is that on the schedule?

Some would think that going back on a schedule would make like more rigid and less fun-seems to be the opposite for me these past 2 days....yes, yes, I know it has only been 2 days, but WHAT a change from what our days were looking like and feeling like. A sense of order has brought such peace to the house. Ahhhhh....
With that being said I am typing this blog outside while I watch all three girls play-Chiara and Mayah chasing each other around on their bikes and Leah exploring everything her hands can touch. I am outside. I am not worried about what is not done today because it IS done. Dinner is set for tonight, kitchen is clean, laundry in the works (seriously never "done" in this house), school room and play room in order, my room and the girls room tidy with beds made and clothes put away....I even vacuumed the upstairs!!!!!!!! WHAT?! It's days like this I think I can handle 5 kids....LOL! Ok, that's going to far, but it is such a good feeling to have most things in the house under control. I say most things because I know my clutter pile (hot spot) is still there and other little things.
My point with all of this rambling is that I am outside enjoying the pretend play and exploration-something I have continually struggled with because of all the things not 'done'. Today it is done and the roses smell sweet.

It's a New Day!

Well, here I go! January 2010....what?! David and I talked a lot this past week about time going by, and how long we have been a couple. Makes me smile. Makes me happy beyond words!

Today is the first day of a new daily schedule. I used to have a written out schedule when Chiara was younger and then got away from all of it. I am a very flexible person and even anticipate having to change some of our routine, but I need-craving- a schedule. It is in my blood. Order. It gives me peace in the chaos of raising three little kids. I am ok with days where you throw out the schedule and just 'be', but for the most part I need one in this house.
So far, so great! I was able to get up at 5:30 AM, shower, see and talk (AND KISS) with David, get ready, having coffee all before my girls woke up (as I am writing this at 6:45AM).
Well, now it has officially begun and I need to get off of here!

A New Year

Today was a different start to a new year than I have ever had before. No, it was not the french toast for breakfast (new tradition), but rather going to a memorial "Celebration of Life" ceremony for a former 5th grade student and her younger brother. I was touched and deeply moved by the things said by these kids about their two friends. I was overcome with emotion at the realization of the loss of innocence on the field. I was not a typical teacher, but a teacher who truly felt that each child entrusted to me in that classroom was a part of me. So, losing one so tragically gets me in my core.
I was blessed to sit by another former student from my first class. Aaron was very dear to me as he was diagnosed with a blood condition that year that prevented him from playing outside at recess-we spent a lot of time together. He is a young man now-football player, aspiring to be a fire fighter, same smile....
My 'kids' were not just kids.....sure, some came in and left both of us seemingly untouched, but there were many who changed me and I them. A connection that was unique and beautiful. I am so honored that they would make an effort to keep in touch-to hear that I am talked about or referred to after the years that have gone by humbles me.
This was a different entrance in to the new year. I have been looking at my girls so much differently since this accident. A reminder from my God that I am to hold them in my hands lightly. They are not mine to dictate their time line, their purpose, or their life. I want so badly to protect them from all harm, hurt, and fear-but I am reminded that I do not know what is best. He does. He is not ever wrong. Will I still thwart off evil as I see it coming? Yes. Will I cover their ears when innocence is about to be lost? Yes. Will I hold them closer? Longer? Tighter? Yes. But knowing in my heart it is not for me to decide.
I am not saddened by this, yet there is a strange comfort in it all. I am no Abraham, but I trust my Lord. Now, that is a great way to enter a new year.

Really Gonna Try!

I love the idea of a blog-capturing moments and writing down thoughts. Time just seems to rule my days....I am highly considering going back to a very scheduled week. I think it would help establish better routine for school and personal time. Even as I was typing this Leah needed to get down from her chair....the blessing of interruptions.
I was taken aback when David told me he enjoyed reading my blog-I had no idea! That alone was motivation for me to start writing again.
I can in no way possibly recap the past months of 2009. I am not like most though who want to wipe it away. I look forward to 2010, but there were so many GOOD and JOYFUL things from 2009, that I would never want to "forget" it.
I do not make New Years Resolutions, but I am going to try and devote more time to this blog. Try.

Is it 5AM already???

So, in an attempt to get healthy and fit I have been waking up all week at 5 AM to workout. I am very proud of myself for doing it; it has not been easy. My goal is 20 pounds by next summer. I would just love to be back to my pre-baby weight before we try for another. This seems like a HUGE goal, but I am determined. Now, my eating habits need an overhaul too, but I am waiting on that for when I am done nursing Leah. I just can't do it all at once.
So, here's to a better body-though it may be a tired one!